Heartache

In life moments of pain always stay with you. You remember them the most, every moment that occurred, every word said and tear shed. From the demise of a family pet to the loss of grandparents. The loss of a father. All of these painful memories that don’t ever leave. Burned into your brain, every emotion, and feeling. Just like the loss of a great love. A love of 7 years. A best friend. The person who you planned to spend forever with, gone. Answerless. Broken. That’s how they leave you. All of a sudden without a warning or a chance to mend what was bent, not broken, they decide to break it.

Did they lie? Do they have a new girl? 18 days single. How to cope and how to deal with this loss is a mystery. There is no magic pill or trick to fix this type of pain. The real physical pain that this heartache causes is unbearable. Like my heart physically hurts, it is really feeling. You plan all kinds of thing with this person, everything in life, then they decide that they “don’t love you anymore.” Is that the truth or is there a new girl, someone newer not old and boring like me? He says no, but there are instances that make you think otherwise.

Delete them off everything people say, easier said than done. But that just eliminates them from your life. Slowly but sure change things, I changed my twitter picture today and my log-in photo on my laptop, those were the last two photos to change. It’s hard. Everything changes and sometimes I can hardly breathe. This shit you really go through is a lot. The emotions are all over the place and you feel like you’re crazy, I promise you are not. I am a mess, a train wreck, a girl who lost her everything, but survive I will.

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