All of the Lies

You were sweet but turned into dark chocolate. Looks appealing but bitter.

1 month. 2 days. That is the length I have been single for the past 7 years. But, should I have been single sooner? It is a question I struggle with daily since I was informed I have not been loved in a while, (I mean what the fuck is a while anyway)?! How can you lie to someone for so long with so much between you and that person. In a relationship you pick up things from the other person and develop similar tastes, especially after 7 years. So after everything is gone and taken away, you look at those things and wonder if it will ever be the same again. Will you ever play that board game again with someone? It was a super fun game. Well for me, I watched a tv that myself and my ex-s/o had started watching and only got one season in. Why should I miss out on life and things I  enjoy because he chose to lie to me about things and remain in something he didn’t want.

Another lie. He was dating the new girl. I asked him the day she changed her fb status. I asked for an entire day and told him not to lie to me. Explained why lying was wrong. He made me feel and actually told me I was crazy. So A big FUCKYOU I am not crazy. You made me feel crazy so that in turn makes you crazy since I was right and you were a liar. It sucks. My heart was ripped from chest. Stomped on over and over again. And then twisted up a bit and tossed to the side.

But in the end I would always do it all again because I had a best friend for 7 years. I had someone who I could tell anything and everything to, and I hold all his secrets. Breakups suck and they are not easy at all. But why be sad and heartbroken when the other person is happy? That is just bullshit and I refuse to go down that road anymore. It effected my mental and physical health, but grad school on the back burner which it is grad school!!! Gotta make that number one. And, I am. Through the lies comes a new person.


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